


as nightmare follows day

by BrenanaBread



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette, Angst, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, LadyNoir - Freeform, Loneliness, Nightmares, adrien trying his best, adrienette - Freeform, helpful friends, no description of the nightmares though so it shouldnt be too triggering!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28019919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrenanaBread/pseuds/BrenanaBread
Summary: Plagued with nightmares, Adrien Agreste seeks help and comfort from his friends.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	as nightmare follows day

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Silver Lining: An Adrien Agreste Zine

His chest heaves as he lies there, silent. 

Greeted by darkness, eyes blinking into the emptiness, Adrien doesn’t move. A stark white ceiling offers him little comfort and the smooth lines of a vacant household only serve as a reminder of his isolation. He wishes he could turn his head and bury his face in his mother’s side. He wishes for the comforting weight of his father’s hand on his back. He hasn’t felt that in a long time.

_ It isn’t sensible to wish. _

His limbs are stiff from sleep and his heart beats rapidly in his throat. He feels an urge to run or hide or wrap himself under a blanket until the monsters feasting on his dreams starve and he can finally rest in peace. But he knows he’ll never be safe. How can he escape evil of his own creation? Outrun the terrors that greet him behind closed eyelids? Flee his own mind?

He can’t.

* * *

_ Alone. _

_ Alone. _

_ Alone. _

Adrien is only ever alone.

It’s magnified when his chest is tight from fictional fears. When his eyes search around his room, desperate to prove  _ he’s real, he’s alive, he’s safe _ , he becomes painfully aware of the emptiness all around him. He’s safe, but as a lion caged at the circus. A spectacle.

He wants to pretend it wasn’t always this way, but lying to himself has never been his strongest skill and even when he’s surrounded by people, loneliness pumps like ice through his veins.

He rubs the sleep from his eyes and throws off his covers, the movement waking the kwami curled next to him.

“What gives?” Plagg whines, his back arching in an elongated stretch. “I had hours left of that dream.” 

Adrien shuffles about his room, a hand making a mess of his hair as he pulls at it. “We’re going out.”

“Out? It’s two in the morning!”

“We won’t be out for long,” Adrien assures and calls for his transformation. He jumps out his window and swings himself to freedom, not sparing a thought for the monsters he hopes to leave behind.

* * *

Chat prowls along rooftops and soars over cobblestone streets for three nights in a row before he’s visited by a familiar set of bluebell eyes and midnight hair.

“Evening, my lady.”  
  
His bow is stilted and his tone lacks its customary playful warmth. 

Ladybug scrunches her nose.

“Something’s wrong.” She searches his face and takes a step towards him, but the centimeters closer only make Adrien feel further away.

He almost tries to deny it, almost puffs up his chest with his flirtiest smile and tells her how the only thing wrong is spending such a beautiful night outside her company. But she bites at her lower lip and her arms hug her waist and he knows she’ll never believe him.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” He ducks his head before she can question him. “What has you out so late on this fine evening? Bed bugs?”

She eyes him critically. “I couldn’t sleep. Too stressed.”

Walking towards the edge of the roof, Ladybug crouches down and pats the concrete next to her in open invitation.

He doesn’t move at first, quietly studying the scene before him. The yellow street lamps light her face from below and her hands curl around her knees protectively, but her eyes are just as honest and uninhibited as always. He could never deny her anything. 

Adrien gingerly sits down and lets his legs dangle over the side of the building, their thighs barely grazing.

“What’s got you stressed?” he asks, winding his tail around his forearm.

“A lot of things.” She rests her head against his shoulder, a casual display of affection. “School and work. Friendships. This whole ‘being a superhero’ thing. It takes a lot out of you.” 

He hums in agreement. “It makes me tired all the time,” he tells her. “I wish the stress kept me awake.”

Ladybug laughs bitterly. “No, you don’t. Don’t be like me.” 

His responding sigh has her turning her face to look up at him, brows furrowed. “Why are you out here, Chat? If you  _ can _ sleep, you  _ should _ sleep.”

Adrien isn’t sure what he wants to tell her. The nightmares make him feel young and weak and alone and afraid. He’s not sure whether he’s ready to let anyone know just how deeply they cut him.

“We all have our demons,” Ladybug says, looking out over empty Parisian streets. “You can tell me,  _ chaton _ .” She hits his shoulder lightly with her own. “What’s yours?”

He stares at her, eyes wide as saucers for a single moment before words come tumbling out of his mouth. “How do I get rid of them? The demons─how can I─how do I beat them?” The syllables spill into each other messily and a beat of silence sends chills down his spine as Ladybug parses his sentence.

“I don’t know if they ever go away,” she says with a sad smile and a shake of her head. “They hop on our shoulders to weigh us down, but chasing them off never works. You acknowledge them and you learn about them and you share their weight.”

Ladybug clasps his hand between her own and rubs a thumb along his knuckles. Though they’re separated by layers of fabric, the warmth of her touch melts through to his bones.

“And then, one day,” she continues, “they’re not so bad. One day, you can lay them on the ground and stand on  _ their _ shoulders.” She shrugs, pigtails bopping against her neck. “Get a view you never thought possible.”

He smiles at her and it’s the first one that’s felt real in days. “I like the way you think, Ladybug.”

She pushes his fringe up and out of his eyes, her touch light and reverent. “We’re all getting used to our demons,  _ minou _ . Let me get used to yours.”  
  


* * *

  
“-ke up!”

Adrien is jostled enough he almost falls off of his bench seat.

“Dude, are you okay?” Nino whispers, glancing around the library warily. “You were getting kind of loud.”

The hairs on the back of Adrien’s neck stand to attention and his breathing is far too rapid to convince anyone he’s fine.

“Sorry, I’m okay.”

“Didn’t sound okay.” Nino looks at him skeptically. “You can trust me, y’know? I’m here for you.”

Adrien offers him a small smile. “I’ve just been really tired lately. But thanks.”

“Lot of work? Or something else?”

Adrien shrugs, trying to drop the subject. “I’ve just been having some trouble sleeping at night, that’s all.”

“Ah, I get it.” He nods in understanding. “Nightmares?”

Adrien stares at him, bewildered.

“I used to get them too,” he confesses. “Got some moves now.”

Stifled laughter prompts Nino to whip his head around as Alya and Marinette make their way to the table.

“Moves?” Alya says incredulously. “You don’t have any moves.” She kisses him lightly on the cheek and he rolls his eyes.

“Tricks for dealing with nightmares,” he amends.

Marinette snaps to attention. “You’re having nightmares?”.

Adrien shifts in his seat uncomfortably. “A little, yeah.”

“Warm milk,” Nino says, interlocking his fingers with Alya’s. “Works every time.”

“Gross,” Alya shudders. “What you’ve got to do is get your mind off of it. Read a good book right before bed. And if you wake up from a nightmare, try rewriting the ending so you don’t fall back asleep into the same dream.”

“Of course you’d give him  _ work _ to do. The dude’s trying to relax!”

They’re shushed by a librarian, but it doesn’t stop Alya and Nino from whispering more tips.

“Take a bath before you go to bed.”

“Make a really good playlist for when you’re falling asleep.”

“Try leaving your bathroom light on.”

“Drinking hot chocolate  _ always _ works, man.”

They finally agree on one, though it makes Adrien’s ears heat and his cheeks flush crimson.

“You could always try sleeping with someone else beside you. That always makes us feel safe.” The couple shares a secret smile and Adrien tries not to melt on the spot.

* * *

His throat is already raw from screams when Ladybug shakes him awake.

He curls in on his side and tries to control his breathing outside of Ladybug’s view, but he knows the damage has already been done.   
  
“ _ Chaton _ ,” her voice is heavy and aching. “Are you okay?”

She doesn’t leave his side and he eventually leans his weight against her and lets her cuddle him close.

“I’ve tried  _ everything _ , Ladybug” his voice wavers and cracks from overuse. “Every single idea I could find,  _ but they won’t go away _ .”

She smoothes a hand through his hair, scratching behind his ears until his breathing is no longer labored before asking him questions.

“It’s the nightmares,” he tells her. “They won’t leave me alone.” Tears cling to the ends of his eyelashes, too light to fall, but threatening a downpour.

He tells her about each piece of advice he’s gotten and every way he’s tried to rest peacefully. 

“Even falling asleep out here with you…” he looks away and the words hang between them, heat blooming in his stomach and traveling up his neck. “I just feel safe with you. Not….lonely. But it didn’t work either.”

Ladybug rubs her palm along his back in soothing circles and wraps her other arm around his waist, hugging him tightly.

“Why don’t you try talking about them?” she says, words muffled by his neck.   


He tries.   
  
He keeps trying.

* * *

  
Eyes plunged in darkness, Adrien wakes with a heaving chest. Blinking.

In the years since they first appeared, the nightmares have grown less frequent. They still catch him off guard and leave him hot and breathless. He still feels the nagging fear in the back of his mind every time he closes his eyes. But they don’t consume his every waking thought. They don’t make him fear his own mind.

Adrien takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, counting how long he can make it last before a soft snore catches his attention and his head lolls to the side. Her sighs are a symphony.

Soft light reflects through their windows and highlights the hair curling around Marinette’s ear. Her hands are stuffed under her pillow and her breathing is steady and full, drool collecting on the corner of her mouth and zit cream cracking on her chin. She’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen.

He turns on his side and cuddles up to her back, lightly draping an arm across her middle and curling a hand around her own. The steady thrum of her pulse etches a ballad against his thumb.

The nightmares don’t go away─not completely. They wane over time only to come back in an instant, the crack of lightning to announce the storm. He takes comfort from her presence, but the nightmares are for him to fight alone. Marinette can’t follow him through the trenches of his own mind, but when he wakes he knows she’ll be there to rub his back and calm his racing heart. Remind him he is loved and let his tears stain the pads of her thumbs. She helps him build up his strength, gives him the space to be scared and confused, but always keeps a hand clasped in his. Always pulls him back to safety.

Taking a deep breath and filling his lungs with a scent he won’t ever let fade, Adrien does something he never could as a teenager.

He goes back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on Tumblr @jattendschaton


End file.
